Just what we need-a new drug

just what the world needs. NightLine just did a story on South Africa where the latest fad is smoking Anti Retro Virals. It appears to be a stupifying, violence inducing high. ARVs are plentiful (and cheap thanks to a US group sponsoring them) due to SA having the highest HIV rate in Africa. As a little kicker, the ARVs have no prophylactic effect when smoked, but they do introduce enough of the ARV to the person to produce a resistance to ARV drugs when introduced to treat HIV.

I see the planet entering a long period of die off of all species, all the way up to the top of the food chain. So, the next generation of HIV persons will not have any extended period of life -perhaps to not infect others? And of course, to create ARV resistant HIV strains. Every single other STD has rigorous reporting and notifications required. Which shows you how powerful the gay lobby was in the 80's when the plague first manifested at large. I know that is not politically correct, but truth is truth. I am the most gay LGBT person on the planet, claiming a couple of those initials myself, but let's be real folks. I believe the Mother has no intention of letting Herself be sucked lifeless by the parasites upon her.

She relentlessly kills off entire populations with flood, fire, wind, pestilence. Maybe She even effects the mental state of our leaders who start lethal/illegal conflicts. Certainly the brains of the young, disaffected males who shoot up groups of their peers on a regular basis.

Which could bring me back to fretting over Pakistan, a severely dysfunctional state, with nuclear capabilities and one of the most sexually repressed religions on the planet. Combined with the other Muslim states, the potential for "Let's Play Global Thermonuclear War" All that excess testosterone. Oh my.

Another WOW moment

After a day spent watching Obama's inaugural everything, crying, laughing, crying some more. . .

Quel surprise!! Qaddafi, who seems to have achieved a sort of wisdom in his old age, offers a solution to the Israel/Palestine dilemma. I can hardly wait to see the reactions of the Mid-East bloggers I follow. Also to read the historians' take on the veracity of his points.

Bells and things

Learned a -to me- amazing new thing tonight. PBS show about the dinosaurs of the arctic; the appearance, or lack thereof, of serrations, or 'teeth' on the edges of leaves is an almost perfect indicator of how cold or temperate the climate during a particular period . " fewer teeth, smaller tooth area, and lower degree of blade dissection in warmer environments.^" . A complicated water exchange mechanism. This was my paradigm shift moment. the rest follows nicely. So, the North coast of Alaska was far more temperate 70 million years ago. But the high latitude also made for a greater swing in high and low temps, leading to the conclusion that the 'arctic' dinos were far more adaptable than the southern cousins. Diversity was enormous then, but was already shrinking by the time the 65 million year ago asteroid climate disaster happened. Then the planet wide long winter that arose wouldn't necessarily be the extinction triggering event, since the ''arctic' dinos proved they could survive much cooler climes. Lack of diversity seems to be a species killer. We are now spiraling down that very path.

Another amazing PBS thing: The Raleigh Ringers: hand bell ensemble, with holiday music. I recently read a book in which 'ringers' appeared in a subplot. I understood the concept, but never pictured the intricacies of music they could perform. They're just a treat to watch and marvel over. "English hand bell ringing" The book, scifi alt future, was set in England. I'll remember the name of it soon.

The foriegn press, oh my!

( look up contributors list )
this prompted by a long piece on Russia Today the "mood in America" by showing some right wing radio host ( a solidly believable group NOT)about all the Obama contributors from off shore accounts. Reminds me that's exactly what my sister said. This guy was positively rabid! Is it some mineral in the soil causing otherwise intelligent humans to believe any of that crap? When it's so easily disproved with a bit of reading effort. Russia Today "poll 40% think Obama's term will end with a graceful bow before a period of US decline. 29% say change possible, whether for better or worse (these people really like decisions) 20% think it will produce a humble America (more hysterical laughter), first among equals. 11% think it will show greater tolerance and hope for minorities.

One must read or watch the foreign press. Reality knocking.

The Oprah factor

An economics pre-doc proved that Oprah's support got Barack over 1 million votes - in the primaries - leading to his place. . . in place to change history. Everything happens for a reason. Hmmm, one wonders how Hilary feels about that.

Change has come. Little black boys - and girls - can now know that anything is possible. The rest of the world is pretty happy, too. But here, we have collective guilt, responsibility, for living in, yes, the greatest country on this Earth, that was founded on genocide, inquisition and slavery. And maybe we have made an evolutionary step forward. Maybe the aliens will land now. ha ha ha ha.

I had a flash earlier about Black folks having a Sally Fields moment, where they can actually put away the pervasive feelings that no matter what, white folks will always put them down. That would certainly be a transformative paradigm shift. And there is really no other country in the world that could understand that, because there is no history anywhere else to have created our personal racial issues.

My sister - oh my goddess, an otherwise intelligent woman, today was telling me "you know, he's NOT African American, he's half African and half American, and 1/4 of his background is Muslim, and they were not the slaves, they were the slave takers." Oh. My. God. And then I asked, " so how does this pertain to him, now?" "Well, we'll see." And more from the right wing hate spewers - it was there, just waiting to pop out. Well, that didn't sound very hateful. Maybe I'm just projecting. She finished it off by saying 'well we won't have that argument right now.'

The "ultimate" color line has been crossed? Brown babies. smile

"Without contention, without having to march in the streets to get our votes counted." Gloria Steinem on Oprah (the late rerun)( cuz you know, 16:00 is for the dog park)

still tryin to publish this from the 28th

well, lookit that - it's there - twice. in IE right now. gotta switch back -. . .well, it's saved twice in draft form. let's see if i can publish from here.

(this from the 28th - when blogger.com was not lettin' me publish. or maybe it's my browser, in some inexplicable way. The 'button' "publish" connects to "Javascript:void(0)" ie., it goes nowhere and I get a "invalid character" message. Well, the hover over shows the same, now. I started up blogger.com w/IE tab in Firefox. (FF and IE tab having both worked here just fine in the past.) I suppose I'll have to try native IE. My frelling links work. but theirs don't go figure

Pakistan is on the verge of being a failed state, and it has 50 nuclear weapons. The Pashtun region, encompassing Afghanistan and Pakistan. Completely The U. S. govt. is threatening to go across the boarder into Pakistan. This, of course, is totally illegal, world-law wise. But we did. 50 nuclear weapons. Frontline has me overflowing with post-atomic world visions. That part of the world virtually glows with potential death and destruction - as I see it flashing before my eyes in clouds of light and energy. It only remains to be seen how far the glow will spread, and how far the destruction will go toward total disintegration of society.

August 4th, 1961

Barack Obama was born two days after my 19th birthday, so I could (have) be(en) his mother. Although that was several years before I decided that brown babies would be the salvation of our society. Big smile. Golly gee whiz. We've taken a step toward racial blindness. Forget equality - people are equal - as equal as the individual person can aspire to be. The Supreme Court! Ta Da! However, the three most likely justices to retire soon are already the liberal 3.

I'd wish to be more eloquent and profound here . . . I'd also wish that Blogger.com would let me publish my frelling posts without the damned javascript(void)0 error.

pre death post

laughing maniacally. . . Lying here, feeling my arteries harden. . . still having trouble, however, actually believing that this is me ME still me being, not getting, older.
I just keep putting off doing those things that will help me live. like working. and then there's the quitting . .or not . . smoking part. I was suddenly very afraid of dying - right then, or in the immediate 'next' tense. both the gray cat and the dog made sudden appearances in my face, so to speak. wrong part of the cat, however, and I had to send her packing, followed by Martina. I was thinking about what Linda told me of her mom's leg veins being totally full of plaque when she died.
goddess bless me, I almost called Joe. That would drive him crazy. Then he'd be sure I was crazy and set about having me committed. So I took an anxiety pill, instead. time will tell if. . .
So far, I've resisted clapping on the blood pressure machine.
I believe I'll take this opportunity to re-post my revised Last Will and Testament. Ah, mortality

Last Will and Testament slightly altered 10-20-2008

I leave everything I possess to my oldest son Joseph M. Zaouk, and his wife, Sandra Zaouk. After he takes what he wants , ** Andrew Bennett, his father Walter Bennett, his wife Leah Bennett; Crystal De Nova, John De Nova and Zoe Angeles, in that order, should get whatever they want, and then someone, for Pete's sake should have a garage sale or use E-Bay. ** My sister, Linda Oliver McCoy of Alva, Florida, should she chose to transport anything, or even FLY out here (little dig there Sis) would be # 2 in line. My youngest son Rached A. Zaouk, if he chooses to make an appearance, will receive his portion of the US Savings bonds (8 or 9 of them in $50.00 denominations) which I have already endorsed over to Joseph M. and Rached A. Zaouk. Omar Zaouk, younger brother of Joseph and Rached Zaouk, may also be interested in salvaging some item or another.
My good friend, Karen Higa, of San Francisco, has promised to take care of my cats should I die. You didn't think I'd forget that did you Karen? If any cash could be squeezed out of my estate to ship her,(the very word 'estate' sets me to laughing hysterically), I know my sister, Linda would take care of my best puppy, Martina. But - I'm planning on outliving all of them, and will more than likely have replacements. When asked if she'll take care of my puppy . . . if, Crystal answers, "Well, duh! But we're not gonna talk about that!" I think I'm gonna need another 5 or more years to get C. settled and aiming higher. Then I'll want to live to see her shining star ascend.

". . .the candidates' debate. . ."

Everything is a line from a rock and roll song.

Sara Palin knocked it out of the park - in terms of the questions to her debating prowess. I don't agree with (more than) half her policies. However, she expressed herself well, responded sorta on point with about 1/2 the questions, and probably conquered the "wanna drink a beer with her" group. Pundits still say J MC needs to prove himself. Is 'she' ready to be VP? No. Secretary of of Agriculture, maybe. (per some CNN pundit.) So all ya'll who were expecting/hoping ( I have to admit that thought floated in my head for a second)) she would fall on her face . . . should have checked her clips from debates in Alaska Gov. race. She rocked.

more punditm (pundit - got to be derived from the Latin - I suppose I could look it up, but no)

"Who was more in touch with the problems of people like you?" 70% for Biden. oops - CNN snatched that stat and replaced it with 50%/44% Biden/Palen. Cute. And "who seemed more like a 'politician'." that was the 70%/21%, Biden/Palin stat.

All the punditm are saying both need to address how they're going to handle the severe recession we are about to go into. I so hate to be right. If "they" had listened to me 5 years ago. . .

ego surfing

Not enough tasks; must multi more. Olympic swimming (now) on TV, (was just men's basketball (Greece vs. Spain) (don't see how that game cd be over but. . .) . . . women's soccer (Sweden vs. Argentina - and boy, are those Swedish girls big! compared to the Argentinians, who all appear to be Indias. Lawd knows, there are plenty blonde and blue Argentinians, descended from the Nazi in flux after WWII) streaming in another window on the computer. I always expect the women from Brazil and Argentina to be awesome, like their male counterparts. We'll see. Poor babies, they're just small. That could prove to be an advantage. oop - back to bb they have 1/2 time! at Olympics, just like in rl, Marian.

Once again, I am NOT working the late shift at YC cuz I need a frelling puppy sitter. My spoiled rotten puppy! She is the cutest, smartest puppy on the planet, of course. But she can't be trusted alone all night. Right now, the major problem is the family of skunks living in the back yard. I think there are at least two babies - getting bigger all the time. One almost completely black, with white blaze on face and white tail tip. Mommy has a white strip on her back. Junior hasn't got his spray on yet, but last night he charged the dog as she circled him barking her brains out. No spray, tho - I suppose there must be some time during puberty when they start charging rear end first, but this guy wasn't yet. That is certainly one of the funniest (but only in retrospect) visuals in animal behavior: the cute little furry thing running backwards toward you lickety split.
So anyway, silly puppy has been sprayed 3 three! times. The first was a face full, after which she tried to rub her face off on the living room rug. I managed to get her into the shower before she got to my bed! The next 2 01:20 showers (!) were less of a full spray, but enough - all accompanied by heavy barking, of course.

But, since the skunks are nocturnal, I can safely work a short shift and be home by dark! Here's hoping the little critters move out before the days get shorter. I really need to follow my sister's advice and call some pest control outfits and ask questions.

Spain is way ahead. No score in the soccer game yet. I suspect this is a replay. I cd probably look up the final score somewhere. I don't get "The Soccer Channel"(??) which seems to be the only place you can watch it on TV, unless you wanna watch /tape 8 hrs at a time of NBC and clones coverage, and hope what you want shows up eventually - they're not telling ahead of time, not on the TV guide on the Dish, not on nbc's online schedule info. I guess that's how they guarantee the sponsors eyes thruout.

My Missing Son

Well, missing from my life. No doubt still present in his own reality. With a $10. subscription to some 'find them' service, I'd gotten a new address and phone number for my second son, who disowned me 4 years ago. Joe and I both had rather disturbing dreams about him a week or two ago, so Joe called the number - it turned out to be really Rached Zaouk! $10. well spent. Of course, he got hung up upon as soon as his brother recognized his voice, but we've confirmed his alive-ness, if not detail health info. I'm pretty sure Jonelle would call me (now that I think about it) if there was something wrong with him. Not too happy to join his father on his shit list, but. . . My latest google of his name turned up a couple of new things - two quotes from a CSUN publication, identifying him as a "Senior History major." Date was 2007, so I guess this means he has just graduated.

Watching a great PBS "Nature" show about the rain forest. Quote: We know only 5% of the creatures living here now.
The Sumatran tiger supports its own ecosystem - a species of bat that circles it catching the flies that surround the tiger.

Anyway - my brain is multi-tasking, and I'm thinking of Rached getting a job teaching. His first student teaching assignment (musta been more than 4 years ago, cuz he told me about it) was in a 5th grade class. "I want to transfer to a lower grade - those 5th graders are little assholes!" So now I'm mentally writing his opening speech to his first (and/or maybe subsequent) class. "When I was your age, I was a little asshole. I'll be sure to recognize my fellow a-holes, so stay tuned. I was the only white kid in class my first 3 years of school - I speak the language of the street. I indirectly started the band Guns n Roses. so - welcome to my jungle! ( and maybe more, with music? nooo laughing hysterically. I really really miss my kid.)

Personal breakthough

I have just called someone - Walter and Leah - and . . .wait for it. . . asked for help! 4th day of diverticulosus -puppy desperately needs some one (else) to play with - big boys would be her preference. I texted John (DeNova - Marcy's 15 yr. old) but he claims he's not in the City. I could also use some GatorAide - Leah's JOB is roving store rep for them!! - since I can't frelling eat anything solid for at least another day. So, Walter says he'll send Leah and Andrew this afternoon - he has to clean out their garage. Terrific news all around - especially from Martina's pov.
I have a puppy! has been my answer to every "how are you feeling" question since November. She makes me laugh 50 times a day - much better than meds!

Just stopping by

Just a note to keep this thing alive.

A Nation of Christians Is Not a Christian Nation

And my favorite part, with its unstated USMC connection (". . .to the shores of Tripoli." tra la)


"In the 1790s, in the waters off Tripoli, pirates were making sport of American shipping near the Barbary Coast. Toward the end of his second term, Washington sent Joel Barlow, the diplomat-poet, to Tripoli to settle matters, and the resulting treaty, finished after Washington left office, bought a few years of peace. Article 11 of this long-ago document says that “as the government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion,” there should be no cause for conflict over differences of “religious opinion” between countries."

Ah, I still see us - US rapidly approaching the time of "A Handmaidens Tale."

A very fine summary

"Remember Lynn Cheney calling Kerry a "bad, bad Man" when he had brought up the daughter's sexual preference in a debate? So Kerry was a "bad, bad Man" while her husband, tortures, screws the Geneva Conventions and the American Constitution, slaughters his very own in a fake war while dishing out no-bid contracts to his war scavenger buddies?! It's all fake anger ... and ... genuine hypocrisy!!!"

My compulsion to edit, cut, simplify, everything, is delighted with the sum of Cheney in 25 (well, 30) well chosen words or less, from a comment on Huffington Post.

Last Will and Testamemt

I've started this thing a coupla times - this week of repeated a-fib propels me to write a quick one.
I leave everything I possess to my oldest son Joseph M. Zaouk. After he takes what he wants (he claims he wants very little of mine, ie., it's all worthless (pity me poor me) but, Whatever. After he picks up those three ha ha ha things, ** Andrew Bennett, his father Walter Bennett, his wife Leah Bennett; Carmen Jean Silva, Marcy Pineda and her children Crystal De Nova, John De Nova and Zoe Angeles, in that order, should get whatever they want, and then someone, for Pete's sake should have a garage sale or use E-Bay. ** My sister, Linda Oliver McCoy of Alva, Florida, should she chose to transport anything, or even FLY out here (little dig there Sis) would be # 2 in line. My youngest son Rached A. Zaouk, if he choses to make an appearance, will receive his portion of the US Savings bonds (8 or 9 of them in $50.00 denominations) which I have already endorsed over to Joseph M. and Rached A. Zaouk. Omar Zaouk, younger brother of Joseph and Rached Zaouk, may also be interested in salvaging some item or another.
My good friend, Karen Higa, of San Francisco, has promised to take care of my cats should I die. You didn't think I'd forget that did you Karen?

I think that just about covers it.

About my week: yeah. Called in my rx refills to
General Hosp. last Friday night ("if you request a refill when you have more than 2 days of medication remaining, the prescription will not be filled and you will not be notified" Gen. Hosp Pharmacy) I had 2 days left of 4 meds which had been prescribed to KEEP ME ALIVE. I figured I would take the last dose on Saturday, pick up the scripts on Monday, and only miss one day. Whoops, I failed to take into consideration the Monday holiday, in my count. Well, hell, two days shouldn't kill me, should it? I was headed to Gen. Hosp. to pick them up when I needed to call an ambulance with BP of 200/160 HR 122. It was 130 when the Red Truck got there; and back to 121 at St Luke's triage desk, and normal by the time I got on a table. However - 1/2 hour later, I was tripping along at 155 beats per minute, way into a-fib. ( Meanwhile, Marcy has taken a bus to Gen Hosp to p/u the meds: But NOOOOO. my payment status had changed from co-pay to Medi-Cal then to Medicare, so I was no longer eligible for some strange reason, so no, you can't have these meds we told you to take to stay alive. ) St. Luke's admits me, and they all marvel at how I got there - GH not giving me my meds. Sheesh, I sound like someone on Judge Maxine (or something.) I spend the night, and another day; my third blood test comes back negative for the heart attack enzyme; my HR and BP have been normal for 20 hours, so they send me home. With all the prescriptions I need, and having fed me the appropriate meds during my stay. Thursday, I'm just about to go to Walgreen s (St. Luke's Social Worker: "No problem, just take them to Walgreen s, they will help you sign up for Medi-care Part D, and give you your Rx." Well, nooooo, again, but it was Marcy who ended up going for me) Meanwhile, I'm ticking along at 122 or so beats per minute, going on 4 hours, now. I call Walter, he takes me back to the hospital. As soon as I lie down, HR returns - gradually- to normal. Another Social Worker tells me: "No problem, just go to Social Security Office at 22nd and Valencia, tell them you need to apply and you need a letter saying your are eligible, just not quite covered." Well, noooooo again. A really nice lady at SS goes above and beyond - calls Walgreens, calls Medi-Cal even!! I end up at Walgreens talking to the nice lady who'd helped Marcy at great length the day before. I put over $200 worth of just the 4 I need desperately on the credit card I swore not to increase balance on. WTF is a dangling proposition, anyway? My mood is all bad.

USGS says Polar Bears will disappear within "our" lifetimes - 40 years. I can live with that! laughing hysterically.

U.S. Constitution

With the Pentagon's blessings and assistance, apocalyptic evangelists are proselytizing US troops in Iraq. (AlterNet)

What the hell is my country coming to? I suppose I should say "Hell." The Feds are sending copies of the "Left Behind" video game to the troops (that's the one where you have to kill or convert the 'non-believers' - gosh, sounds like Muslim extremism, as well) - along with an apocalyptic group of live entertainers to make sure their End of Days scenario is hammered into the soldiers' little heads. One Two Three Four, what are we fighting for? Not our Constitution, that's for sure. Just to be on the safe side, they are sending a 'highly rated' (by the evangelistas) text -printed in English/Arabic, to explain the whole 'come to Jesus and live, or don't and die' thing so allegorically presented in Revelations. That will give the local ME's (Muslim extremists) a whole 'nother reason to kill Americans.

STS118

Watching NASA TV covering the shuttle to ISS mission. Thought it was in real time, for a minute there, but now is hard to tell. Well! Bloody amazing, I say. "Crossing eastern pacific ocean approaching the equator" Space walk to rearrange fittings for new module, attach said module, etc. They have electric wrenches that calibrate torque and how many turns it took to get there. The sort of feature you need to work on a Subaru, heh heh heh. Frequently, I could see the earth past the equipment the camera was focused on. How - tragic, that that is as far as we've gotten in 30+ years. Never been back to the moon, barely planning for Mars.

Another night of 'shoulda gone to work' but didn't. I cleaned up - mostly, the growing shuffled pile of "to do" items, some of which are a month past due. There has to be a drug to cure this. Pulled a few weeds, cut flowers, made a bunch of bouquets; made some butterscotch brownies, ate a lot of them smile

NASA does seem to be showing Houston Control live, with no sound, or nobody is talking. They scoot back and forth between monitors, or stare fixedly at one. Some one sporadically stands up and moves a few steps.
(now my very own Satellite aka Dish Network, is doing its daily 'checking for important system upgrades' ' don't touch me' thing)
Means it's time for me to go to sleep. 04:00

fox-in-the-henhouse statuette

"Across six years, the Bush administration has mocked all standards of conflict of interest by choosing private industry zealots for high regulatory posts — where they worked to roll back hundreds of rules on transportation, workplace and mine safety, the environment and other issues. The latest in this subversive chain must surely take the fox-in-the-henhouse statuette: President Bush has nominated Michael Baroody, lobbyist for the powerful National Association of Manufacturers, to lead the Consumer Product Safety Commission."


The article goes on to point out how very, very, many industry insiders are regulating their own industry.

I just started reading a Sci Fi (not so much!!) story about some poor scientist (35 or so years down the road - Pres. Jenna, VP Barbara, former Pres. Jeb) trying to convince them all that a new method of extracting energy from the vacuum will precipitate a galaxy wide explosion. But there are no real scientists left in govt, of course, because the real ones wouldn't lie for the govt. He finally convinces them he's telling th truth when he explains that the Tau Ceti intelligence warning us had taken 5 years of bureaucratic snarffle before they decided to risk contact with us.

The 'most trusted man in America' Walter Cronkite, being profiled on CBS right now. My first speaking part! 4th grade: the boy picked to play WC on the Columbus Day "You Are There" play in my class called in sick. I guess he must have called in the day before, because I remember I was wearing a nice little 'girl' suit my Mommy had made. I was the only one in class who could read well enough to read it cold. I was a little ham.

Fascist America, in 10 Easy Steps

An article on/in AlterNet by Naomi Wolf describes the process we have begun under the Shrub and company. I actually sent it to my sister, for whom I still hold hope for enlightenment. Usually I leave her out of my political ravings, knowing her Republican bent. And bent it is, IMHO. Unfortunately her every political leaning is tied directly to RTL. Supporting that seems to give them a pass on everything else. I'm afraid there are a fair number of Americans in the same circumstance.

The following is a bit from a link from the above listing provisions of a bill signed last year by jr. shrub. 1800 years of common law gone to hell.

" Habeas corpus, or the Great Writ, is the legal procedure that keeps the government from holding you indefinitely without showing cause. When you challenge your detention by filing a habeas corpus petition, the executive branch must explain to a neutral judge its justification for holding you. It’s been a pillar of Western law since the signing of the Magna Carta in 1215."


"The last Congress passed the Military Commissions Act (MCA) of 2006. . . . the MCA revoked the right to habeas corpus for anyone detained at Guantanamo Bay, as well as for any foreigner the government detains anywhere and labels an “enemy combatant,” including legal residents of the U.S.

"• Allows for evidence obtained through torture and coercion to be used in military commission prosecutions;

• Retroactively immunizes government officials and private contractors for their involvement in torture and abuse; and

• Strips Guantanamo detainees, and potentially all non-U.S. citizens, of the right to challenge their indefinite detention through a writ of habeas corpus. "

The Internet may very well be the salvation of us all. (Do I need to reiterate my long ago prediction that this would be so? Well, probably not, but it feeds my ego.)